My Eyes Aren’t Green Because I Eat a Lot of Vegetables

But they’re yellow because jaundice wanted to play. Or rather, my “ojos son amarillo” as a Cuban taxi driver recently told me.

So what is jaundice?

I’m glad you asked because my ignorant tail didn’t think this was something black folks experienced… no lie, I’ve never seen us with yellow eyes or skin. But now I know, jaundice doesn’t discriminate.

Jaundice is a buildup of bilirubin in the blood that can’t be broken down by the bile in the liver’s bile ducts due to a number of reasons. In my case, it’s due to the tumor(s) that are sitting on my biliary branch blocking both bile ducts. (I swear I think I’m an expert because I know a lil summ'n summ'n now.)

What’s interesting about jaundice is that it is most common in infants - neonatal jaundice. When an infant has jaundice, they’re kept under a blue light, known as a bili light, to help the isomers in the bilirubin break down easier to flush out the babies system.

I’ve been dealing with this for a few months now, and although Mystique is one of my favorite X-Men, she’s never been on any of my Pinterest boards for style inspiration nor my vision board. Yellow eyes look good on her. I’d rather have my original color back.

You can imagine that I’ve been trying to find the best fix for me to reduce the bilirubin. I mean, it takes a while to fully embrace an unnatural, unhealthy appearance. I mean, the stops, stares, the direct questions, walking with your head down to avoid eye contact, constantly wearing sunglasses… it’s all exhausting.

It had gotten to the point where I asked God, “Am I vain? I just want my eyes to be bright, white, and clear. Is that too much to ask God?”

While the answer hasn’t been quite clear, I’m still striving to find my relief… by any means necessary.

Here are a few things I’ve found and done that helps alleviate the extremely itchy skin, dark yellow urine, and Mystique eyes.

1. Cut out gluten and starches. Baby, you wanna see a crackhead lose a scratchy dance battle?! Hit me with some bread, pasta, rice, whatever, and I’m scratching like I can be scanned at the nearest gas station for my winnings. Once I started getting in tune with my body by listening to it and paying attention to how it felt, I noticed that anytime I ate bread, pasta, etc., I was the cat's meow with all the scratching.

2. Eliminate any chemicals and any harmful products that directly touch your skin. This isn’t just the laundry detergent and fabric softener that irritates the skin. (By the way, did you know that 3 major brands of laundry detergent were banned in New York?) This also includes the heavily dyed clothing we wear. I've been tossing clothes left and right because they add an additional itch and irritation to my skin. (Soft girl era by force but I'm not complaining.)

3. Get in the sun! Yes, the sunlight will break all those little chemicals down for skin relief. I read that sunlight and vitamin D help to break down the isomers in bilirubin. I also noticed that when I am in the sun, I don't itch.

4. Hydrate. Hydrate. Hydrate. The greatest way to flush out the system is some good ole hydration. Get your water, coconut water, fresh pressed juice or smoothie and flush your system out.

5. Blue light experiment. Funny story. My sister did some research on neonatal jaundice and the blue light used for babies and thought it would be great for me to try. Welp. We tried. We ordered some blue lights from Amazon (they have to be the same wavelength as the normal bili light) and hung them around my room so that I could roast overnight. Well, maybe not roast but I definitely felt like a chicken being prepped for dinner. Although I did wear an eye mask and had a little relief, that sleeping arrangement was exhausting. Is it worth a try? Sure.

6. See beyond the eyes. They don't make you who you are. Yes, it can be challenging to really see yourself as beautiful but trust me, you have to start looking deeper and affirming yourself that you are beautiful. This is only temporary.

Now my eyes aren’t completely clear YET but faith without works is dead so I know it’s only a matter of time before I’m being casted for a Clear Eyes commercial. I’m lying, I heard people been dying from those eye drops. I'll stick to my natural brand for dry eye relief, Similasan.